Independent.

Independent. I remember I told my mother a few years ago that I would be independent by 21 or 22. If not fully independent, then semi-independent. I somewhat believed what I said, but not completely. Little did I know, I was speaking it into existence. At 22, I signed a lease for my first apartment near my college. I've been living on my own for a little over a year now. Initially, I worried about how I would pay for it since I am only a student trainee at my job, but eventually everything worked out because I was still able to work while attending school. My mother offered to help pay for my expenses, but I was determined to pay for everything myself. While I appreciate my mother offering to help, I knew it was time for me to take on some responsibility. And the thing is... I wasn't afraid. I have never been afraid of getting older and taking on more responsibility or maybe I should say... "adulting." Yes, bills are a drag, but I like paying them because it shows that I worked hard to pay them. I wake up early in the morning to work, go to school, and then come back to study and complete my school assignments. This routine is draining at times and I get frustrated, but I love doing it because I know my hard work will pay off. 

Being independent has mostly been a positive experience for me, but sometimes I struggle living by myself. I am somewhat of an introvert, so I enjoy my alone time. However, when I am not preoccupied with work or school, I find myself getting very lonely. My boyfriend visits me on the days that he is off. Also, my mother visits me every other weekend and vice versa since we are only an hour away from each other. When they leave, I get a little sad, but I snap out of it after an hour or two. Other than them, I get an occasional text from other family members, but that's it. While it is easy to mope about being lonely, I can't do that because whose name is on the lease? Mine. Who is enrolled in college? Me. Who has to work? Me. Who has bills to pay? Me. Therefore, I don't have time to be sad.

In terms of money, the only time I ask for help is when my rent takes up all of my paycheck and I don't have any money from the last one left to pay for things like school parking, gas, or groceries. I've gotten so self-dependent that I hate asking for help, but I know that everyone needs assistance sometimes. I just enjoy working for it. 

Do you live by yourself? If so, let me know what you like and don't like about it. 

Side Note: Ignore those shoes next to me in the second and third pictures. Those aren't mine.... lol. 

Slay Wear

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